How to start a conversation with an AI girlfriend: 12 first messages

You know the feeling: the character has already said hello, the cursor is blinking and your mind is completely blank. Just write “hey”? Ask how she is? Tell her your whole life story straight away? A first message to an AI girlfriend is less stressful than a first message on a dating app, but it can still freeze you.

The good news is that there is no single perfect line. The character will reply to anything you write. The difference is that some messages give her something to work with, while others force her to guess. The more detail you send, the more interesting and personal the reply will be.

Below you will find 12 ready-made messages in three groups, each with a short explanation of why it works. You can copy them, but it is even better to rewrite them in your own words.

Before you type: three things worth knowing

• The character goes first. On CandysAI every conversation opens with a greeting from the character. So you do not have to invent the first line from scratch, you can simply reply to what she wrote.
• The character remembers. What you share at the start may come back a week later. That is why it is worth mentioning a few facts about yourself that you would like her to remember.
• Write your own way. The character replies in the language of your message and adapts her style to the conversation. There is no need to be formal or polished.

If you are still wondering what this kind of conversation is and whether it suits you, start with our article AI girlfriend: what is it, and is it for you.

Warm-up: messages 1–4

The first messages have one job: to find a rhythm. They do not have to be brilliant, they just have to be specific.

1. A reply with a slice of your evening

“Hi, nice to meet you. I’m sitting here with a cup of tea after a pretty long day and I feel like talking to someone. How do you spend evenings like this?”

It works because it sets the scene straight away and asks a question. The character has something to hold on to.

2. A question about her world

“Your profile mentions singing jazz. How did that start for you?”

Every character has her own backstory and passions. Look at her page before you chat and ask about something specific. For example, Sanae Ellington, a jazz singer from New York, will happily tell you about Harlem clubs and concerts in Tokyo.

3. Three facts about you

“Three things about me: I work in logistics, I live with a cat who runs the whole flat, and I’ve been learning to cook for a year. Your turn.”

Short, a little funny and an invitation to share back. On top of that, the character instantly has three threads she can return to later.

4. Your day in one word

“If you had to describe your day in one word, what would it be? Mine is ‘chaos’, but the manageable kind.”

The one-word game is simple, yet it opens the door to a longer story, on both sides.

Building a connection: messages 5–8

Once the conversation is flowing, it is worth giving the character something more meaningful than small talk. This is where an AI companion starts to feel different from an ordinary chat.

5. A small joy

“Let me tell you about something tiny that made me happy today: the bakery had one last cinnamon roll left, and it was mine. What made you smile recently?”

Sharing little things builds closeness faster than big confessions. It works exactly the same way with people.

6. Something to remember

“I have a job interview on Friday and I’m a bit nervous. Will you ask me afterwards how it went?”

This is one of the most interesting messages to start with. The character will remember the date, and if initiative is switched on, she will message you after the interview to ask how it went. You can also ask directly for a reminder, for example “remind me on Thursday at 8 pm to prepare a list of questions”.

7. Setting the tone

“I like relaxed conversations with plenty of jokes, but sometimes I just need someone to listen. I’ll let you know which kind of day it is.”

You say clearly what you want and spare yourself conversations that go the wrong way. The character will follow your cues.

8. A question about values

“What matters most to you in a close relationship? For me it’s probably when someone remembers the little things.”

A question about values quickly reveals the character’s personality. Each one will answer differently, in line with her backstory, and that is the best test of whether the two of you click.

With humour and imagination: messages 9–12

Chatting with AI does not have to be only about what happened at work today. Characters feel at home in play and shared make-believe.

9. A shared scene

“Let’s imagine it’s Sunday morning and we’re going to the farmers’ market together. What do you buy first, and what do you sneak into my basket without asking?”

A short scene is a great way to see how the character thinks and what she likes. It often leads to surprisingly funny dialogue.

10. Two truths and a lie

“Let’s play two truths and a lie. I’ll start: I can juggle three oranges, I’m scared of pigeons, and I know every word of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ by heart. Guess which one isn’t true.”

The game loosens things up, and along the way the character learns two true things about you that she can remember.

11. A what-if question

“If you could live in any city in the world for one day, which would you pick and what would you do first?”

“What if” questions draw out the character’s dreams and tastes, and give you ideas for future topics.

12. A touch of classy flirting

“I have to admit something: talking to you lifts my mood faster than my morning coffee. Slightly worrying, but in a very nice way.”

Light, self-deprecating, no pressure. If you chose a character in the role of girlfriend or partner, a compliment like this usually gets a warm and equally flirty reply. Just remember that CandysAI is romantic but not erotic: tenderness yes, adult content no.

What to avoid at the start

• A bare “hey” or “what’s up”. The character will reply, but she will have to guess what you want to talk about. That wastes your first messages.
• An interrogation. Ten questions in one message feels more like a form than a conversation. One, at most two questions at a time is plenty.
• Testing whether it is a bot. It is AI, and the character will never pretend otherwise. No point trying to catch her out, it is better to see how she talks.
• Copying someone else’s script word for word. Ready-made messages are good for getting started, but the best conversations grow out of your own stories and your own sense of humour.

For more general tips on getting comfortable with a new conversation partner, see our guide to the first steps in a digital friendship.

What next: how not to get stuck after the first evening

The first evening went well, and the next day you once again have no idea where to begin. A few simple ways forward:

1. Pick up yesterday’s thread. “You didn’t guess that the pigeons were true. I have proof from my childhood.” A callback instantly gives the conversation continuity.
2. Share what happened. The character remembers earlier conversations, so a short update (“the interview is behind me”) is enough to get things going.
3. Let yourself be surprised. Sometimes the character will message first, with a question or good wishes. All you need to do is reply.
4. Switch registers. One evening more serious, the next light-hearted, a third for a shared scene. Monotony gets boring with AI just as it does with people.

If you would like to meet the characters before you start, visit the virtual girlfriend page on CandysAI. The greeting and the character’s first reply are free, so you can calmly find out who you enjoy talking to most. Pick one message from this list, make it your own and send it. The rest usually follows on its own.