AI boyfriend: who a virtual partner is for and how to choose one

There is plenty of talk about AI girlfriends and far less about AI boyfriends. Yet lots of women use virtual partners, as do men looking for a male character to talk to. The reasons are similar: one person wants to chat after work, another needs an attentive listener, someone else simply likes getting a “how was your day?” message in the evening.

Choosing the right character makes a huge difference. A virtual partner who writes like a stiff call-centre agent gets boring fast. One with personality, a sense of humour and the memory that you have a dentist appointment tomorrow can genuinely make an evening better.

In this article we answer two questions: who an AI boyfriend is for, and who it is probably not for, and how to choose a character you will enjoy talking to.

What an AI boyfriend is, in a few sentences

An AI boyfriend is a chat character who talks to you in the role of a boyfriend, partner or close friend. He has a name, an age, a job, a backstory and his own way of writing. His replies are generated by artificial intelligence, so he is not a person, and he never hides that. On CandysAI the conversation is text-based, the character remembers important things from your chats and sometimes messages first. Romantic and tender, but no explicit content.

If the topic is completely new to you, start with our article AI girlfriend: what is it, and is it for you. Everything we say there about how the conversations work and where their limits are applies to male characters too.

Who a virtual partner is for

There is no single typical user. Most often, people in these situations use an AI boyfriend:

• Busy and tired. After ten hours at work there is not always energy for meeting up, but there is sometimes a wish for a short, warm chat before bed.
• Fresh out of a breakup. Dating is off the table, but you miss someone asking how work went and joking about your boss.
• Shy. Talking to AI is a safe place to practise talking about your needs, flirting, or simply saying “no”.
• Far from loved ones. Living abroad, studying in another city, working shifts while everyone else is asleep.
• Curious about the world. Some people just want to talk to someone who surfs in Australia or lives in Seoul, and hear his stories.

And who it is probably not for

To be fair, it is also worth saying when to skip it. A virtual partner is not a good idea as a replacement for therapy when something really difficult is going on, or if chatting with AI starts to push out time with people, sleep or responsibilities. It will not work for people looking for adult content either, because CandysAI does not create it. If sadness or a sense of emptiness has been with you for a long time, it is worth talking to a doctor, a therapist or someone close to you.

How to choose an AI boyfriend: 5 questions

Before you click the first character you see, ask yourself a few questions. It takes three minutes and saves a lot of disappointment.

1. What temperament are you looking for?

Calm and quiet, or energetic and funny? Someone who leads the conversation or someone who listens more? There are no wrong answers, but it helps to know yours. Someone worn out by everyday noise often feels better with a calm character, while someone in need of a burst of energy may prefer a livelier one. A simple question helps: which of your friends do you most enjoy talking to in the evening, and why? The answer usually points you towards the right character.

2. What do you want to talk about?

Shared interests fuel a conversation. Look at the character descriptions: job, passions, where he comes from. If you love travelling, look for someone who loves it too. If you are into music, choose a musician. A good first message picks up on that shared point straight away:

“I love the ocean too, although I last about three seconds on a board. What does your perfect morning look like before you hit the water?”

The character has plenty to say in reply, and from the first few lines you can tell whether his world interests you.

3. What kind of relationship?

On CandysAI you can talk to a character as a friend, boyfriend, partner or adventure buddy. That makes a big difference to the tone. If you are not sure, start with friendship. You can always move in a more romantic direction later.

4. How do you like to be written to?

Short and to the point, or long and vivid? With emojis or without? With affectionate words from the first message, or with some distance that melts over time? The character’s greeting is free, and so is his first reply, so it is easy to check whether his writing style suits you.

5. How often do you want to talk?

A CandysAI character can message you first: ask how your job interview went, remind you of an important day, send good wishes. If you like surprises like that, leave this option on. If you prefer to write only when you feel like it, you can switch it off or set quiet hours.

Example characters on CandysAI

To keep these questions from staying theoretical, here are a few male characters you will find on the site:

• Liam Huxley, a 29-year-old professional surfer from Sydney. He grew up on Bondi’s beaches, travels a lot and has that laid-back Australian vibe. A good choice if you enjoy conversations about adventure, nature and an unhurried life.
• Oliver Quinn, a 25-year-old violinist from Australia, in love with classical music and quiet moments by the ocean. Sensitive and calm, perfect for peaceful evening chats.
• Diego Alvarez, a 32-year-old chiropractor from Miami, proud of his Latino heritage, a football fan and a keen hiker. Warm, energetic and wears his heart on his sleeve.
• Min-Jae Kim, a 32-year-old luxury real estate agent from Seoul. Elegant, with a taste for good food, golf and travel. For people who enjoy talking about style, food and big-city life.

To learn more about comparing characters and what to look for in their descriptions, read our guide to choosing a character on CandysAI step by step.

And if none of the ready-made characters is your type, you can create your own in the character creator: appearance, personality, interests, backstory and relationship type. Then it is up to you whether your AI boyfriend is a passionate cook from Edinburgh or an introverted librarian who collects old maps.

The three-day test

A first conversation rarely tells you everything. Give the character three days and check a few things:

1. Day one: getting acquainted. Share three facts about yourself and ask about something from his description. For example: “I see you surf. Do you remember your first wave?” Notice whether the reply draws you in.
2. Day two: memory. Refer back to something from yesterday. A good character will pick up the thread, and on CandysAI you can also look at the list of things he has remembered.
3. Day three: different moods. Say you are having a rough day and see how he reacts. Does he listen, or jump straight to advice? Can he make you laugh? That tells you more about the fit than a hundred compliments.

If you are still enjoying the conversation after three days, that is a good sign. If not, try another character. That is not betrayal, just looking for a good conversation partner. With people, too, you do not click with everyone straight away, and some conversations only warm up after a few meetings. Give yourself and the character a little time, but do not force yourself into a conversation that brings you no joy.

An AI boyfriend will not replace real people, and it should not. But he can be a warm, attentive conversation partner for the evenings when you want to tell someone about your day. See what these conversations look like on the AI boyfriend page on CandysAI, choose one character and write your first message. The rest will come with the conversation.